It’s white, and it has vodka, so it’s a White Russian, duh. Popularized in the 1960s, the White Russian is a sweet drink. It was one of the first drinks I ever had, in fact, because, well, I’m a sissy who likes sweet drinks and didn’t understand that bitter could be good. I was so clueless, in fact, that when I first saw The Big Lebowski in 1998, there is a scene where he is making a drink, and he realizes that he is out of milk, so he goes to the grocery store, opens a container of half and half, puts some in his mouth, and then walks out of the store with it in his mouth, just waiting to pour it into his drink. I thought he was making coffee. The Dude was making a White Russian, the drink he has throughout the film. Heck, Amazon even sells a t-shirt: Big Lebowski White Russian Recipe T-Shirt Select Shirt Size: Small. One commentator says that it is where he seems to get all of his nourishment. You know, alcohol and half and half can keep you going for years.

Dale deGroff, my mixing guru, says that a White Russian should be made with heavy cream, so I had to try it. In a mixing glass, combine

• 1 oz vodka
• 1 oz kahlua
• 2 oz heavy cream

Shake well, and strain over ice in a rocks glass. Oh, is this good. It’s sweeter than most recipes. It’s heavier than most. It will still screw you up the same, though, because it has 2 oz of alcohol, and it goes down so sweet that you don’t even realize that you’re drinking. One minute into it, I forgot that it wasn’t actually a vanilla shake. Wait, I mean I forgot that it wasn’t alcohol. Heck, you know what I mean. The drink sneaks up on you. It’s like vanilla and chocolate and sweet alcohol all rolled up into a frothy glass. I imagine that if I gave a bit to any one of my three daughters, she would love it, down the whole thing, and proceed to sleep very peacefully that night. Not that I recommend that or anything. I do, however, recommend making one for your girlfriend or wife. She will love it, and, by consequence, she will proceed to love you. Good night.

Remember: the Dude abides.